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Tom Brennan.exe

SEEME

Tom Brennan

Location Independent

Objective

A distributed work evangelist who has not worn full length trousers to a meeting since 2020. Treats owning a ring light as infrastructure experience.

Head of Remote Culture · Anywhere Digital

2021 to present

  • > Ran 400 video calls from the waist up
  • > Introduced a virtual watercooler that nobody attended twice
  • > Answered every question about productivity with a photograph of a beach

Independent Consultant · Self

2020 to 2021

  • > Advised four companies on asynchronous working, synchronously, at 9am
  • > Maintained a bookshelf arranged entirely for camera framing
  • > Answered a question about deadlines with a photograph of a hammock

Achievements

  • > Has said you are on mute in nine countries
  • > Once presented for six minutes to a frozen screen
  • > Owns three desks and works from none of them

Skills

  • [x] Background blur
  • [x] Timezone arithmetic, incorrect
  • [x] Strategic camera off
  • [x] Typing loudly to indicate presence

Endorsements

“Tom is always available, in principle.” · Client

“I have only ever seen his top half.” · Colleague of four years

display_properties.exe

> Wallpaper: bliss.bmp. Applied 2003. Never changed.

> I still use this because I do not know how to change it.

readme.txt

> This file was last modified in 1997.

> No further updates are planned.

disclaimer.txt

This CV will not get you hired. It might make someone snort-laugh.

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